|Illustration by Beckett Griice|
King Kong (the original). 1933.
Plot: Filmmakers sail to uncharted island, meet incredibly racist stereotypes. Said stereotypes try to sacrifice the ingenue to a giant gorilla, which is pretty much how I react when people invade my home. Gorilla gets in fights with prehistoric animals of various sorts. Eventually he goes to New York and gets in fights with modern gadgets like trains and aeroplanes.
Attack Quotient: Among the highest of all movies. Whereas most films waste time with tedious set-ups between attacks, this rolls irresistibly from one antagonist to the next, and the giant gorilla is as likely to get attacked as the humans.
Cheese Factor: Massive. The premise is obviously pure fantasy, but also, the acting is stagy and the dialog melodramatic.
By all accounts, the most horrific scene in the film was the one where men are knocked into a crevasse, only to be devoured by giant spiders and other such pesky fellows. Audiences reacted so strongly that the filmmakers cut the scene. It was subsequently lost.